you understood what it was like to be vacant inside

a piece of what you should be carved out

you don’t deserve anything and so you go through lovers by droves

you make yourself sick by excess

you don’t deserve to settle down

and you hate your body because it cannot be what you are

because it hurts you

and you run on lame feet in winter coats to drop weight

and you eat once a day and you drink vinegar

because you don’t deserve health

and you will only be worthy if you are pale with elbows and ribs sticking out

and you fuck people to feel something but you don’t feel anything

and your cupid’s mouth is a sick joke

and you die because you think you should

you die swollen and in pain and alone

i wish i could wind you in my arms

and tell you you’re not for nothing

would you believe me ?

i know what it’s like to adopt egotism

so no one can see you tremble

i don’t want to see it happen to another person

i don’t want to stay alone with my mouth twisted

i am tired

sick and tired

please let me go to heaven now

i’ve done enough down here

pretty music makes me ill

i want to see a different set of eyes

your eyes are blue.

i don’t want to hear stranger’s voices any more

take me to our friends keats and shelley

i belong in a pyre on the sad expanse of beach

i belong in a narrow coffin five foot even

i’m ready to go home now